Summer feels a distance memory and Autumn is in full swing. The wooly jumpers are taking pride of place in my wardrobe and I spent this morning splashing in puddles. Yes, October is here and with it comes a little life update.
Can you believe that it’s October already? The year has definitely crept up on me and I can’t believe there are only three months left of 2019.
With the coming of October also comes a cosier life. My instagram feed is swamped with the most hygge-perfect of images; fleecy blankets, flickering candles, and pumpkin galore. I nearly bought a pumpkin today actually, and several smaller squash-varieties that I thought would look very cute in the lounge. Do you get sucked into recreating what you see on instagram? I certainly do.
With the change in season also comes an opportunity to take stock, reflect, and set intentions for the remainder of the year. For me, this is proving really important with a number of upheavals meaning the need to refocus is really strong for me right now.
This means that this blog post is a bit of a long one (apologies for those who just come for pretty pictures) as I give you a little life update and set some intentions for the remainder of 2019.
Can you believe that I’m 20 weeks pregnant now?
I warn you though – I will scream if you tell me that I’m halfway there. Also, don’t ask to touch my bump. People have asked. They haven’t survived.
But, seriously, it’s been a month since I announced my pregnancy and my issues with Hyperemesis Gravidarum to the world. I have been completely overwhelmed by the support from you all and I’ll be forever thankful for that. So many of you have reached out with your own experiences of feeling stressed or under strain from your own pregnancy. I wanted to be honest about my personal struggles with coming to terms with pregnancy but I feared I’d be judged. I’m hugely grateful that this, on the whole, hasn’t been the case.
I’m also thankful that my health, both physical and mental, has improved since writing that post. There are still good days and bad days and I’m hoping for more good than bad days soon. I still don’t feel pregnant – but I believe that is a defence mechanism and also, partly, my character. I’m not an excitable person and children have never been a priority for me so I’m unlikely to go gaga over those cute booties that everyone believes I should like.
And I still feel that the scan pictures are utter nonsense. Can anyone really tell what is baby and what is womb? Because I sure can’t.
SHOP MY LOOK
A lady of leisure
Due to the pregnancy, I have also become a lady of leisure. It is most people’s dream right? Well, it’s my worst nightmare.
My work consider me too high risk to return so I’ve been put on a medical suspension. It means that I’m on full pay until the end of my pregnancy but I’m not allowed to work. I should really be over the moon.
Sadly, I am one of those people who live to work. I’ve always experienced problems in switching off. I check my work email on weekends, holidays, evenings. I great immense satisfaction from being entirely, 100% on top of things and doing things well. If you asked me as a kid what I wanted out of life, I always said that I wanted a career. I envisioned myself a CEO by 35.
So being told that I can’t work is like a kick in the gut. It feels like I’ve had another choice stripped from me. Which, at a time when I feel like my own autonomy over my body has been taken away from, is just another nail in my coffin.
Okay, I’m being a bit overdramatic but I am now in a position where I desperately need to find something to fill my time. Sadly, my usual activities of hiking and yoga are off limits as is becoming a lady-that-lunches. I can barely leave the house for more than hour without getting sick so I need to find a hobby I can do from home. Please don’t say knitting – I’m not a crafty person!
Buying a House
Because being married, pregnant and aged 30 isn’t grown up enough, I am also currently house hunting.
We actually had an offer accepted on a three bed, 1920’s house that is just 4 doors down from where we are currently renting. Two months later, many a solicitor call, and £2000 later and we were forced to withdraw our offer. We knew the house was a do-er upper. We did not know that it had major structural issues that would costs tens of thousands of pounds to fix.
So we’re back searching for our first home. Although finding something to suit is proving difficult. I have our house buying tale so far saved as a story on my instagram so head over if you want regular updates and dilemmas.
Would you be interested in a few blog posts on our house hunt?
Things to come
And that leads me nicely to my plans for the future.
Well, I’m slightly all adrift. I want to buy a house … but I’m not in a rush for that. I need to rest … to not over tax myself or expect too much of myself, for my sake and for the sake of that strange parasite growing inside of me. I need a hobby … to stop me from going totally insane whilst resting so I think you can expect much more photography from me and maybe a little most consistency on here. Although I’m not promising anything … every time I do, something props up to change things.
Whatever happens, I hope you’ll stay with me and let me know in the comments what you’re planning for the rest of the year!